please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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