It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
