Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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