Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize