I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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