I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
