she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
