Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
