sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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