Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Everything about him screamed your future.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
