I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
kristin has been a bad kristin
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
