There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
