I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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