Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize