oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
