idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
