she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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