Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
