that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
