also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
