Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
