I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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