so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
