yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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