i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
