Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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