Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize