White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
