i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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