im gay
i know
yea but for you.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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