the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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