omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
