I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
