Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
