What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Boobs speak an international language.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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