All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
