Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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