I wish my penis had an off switch
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
