He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
