guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
