Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
