Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
