we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize