I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
