hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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