brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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