And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
