i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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