Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
