I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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