when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
