I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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