You smell like stripper and shame
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
