In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
