dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
