Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
