her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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