look no pants
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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