We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Drake has all the answers
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
