Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize