Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
