I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
