He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
