i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
