I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
