I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
