exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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