my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
