i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drunk is a universal language darling
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
