Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
