don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
