Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize