So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
